What I was Thinking- When I First Saw Gatsby

         It had been a long night at the Buchanans. I had listened to Tom talk for a few minutes too long and I was ready to go home. It's not that I don't like Tom, it's just that it can get a little boring listening to him bring up all of his accomplishments. Daisy is always pleasant, but she is quiet because of overbearing husband. Anyways, when I arrived home, I thought about my new neighbor. He was all the talk all around East and West Egg and I was curious to know more about him too. As I was walking up to my home, I saw a figure in Gatsby's yard. It startled me at first and I was thinking about running into my home. As I tried to decipher what the figure was, I assumed that it was harmless. I watched the mysterious apparition as it stared across the way towards East Egg. I was truly confused. What was there to even look at outside right now? It was dark and a little foggy and I could barely even see the figure just in the yard next to me. What was the person looking at? I tried to look closer and all I could see was a green light radiating in the fog. The figure began to reach out towards it like they were yearning for something. I started to think that the person was a little crazy, but I couldn't help but continue to watch. As I continued to think about who it could be, I realized that it had to be Gatsby. The Gatsby was right there in front of me. He was so mysterious and I started to sense that he was alone. It seemed like he was missing something or someone. I wasn't sure what was going through Gatsby's mind, but I did know that I wanted to learn more about him. He was so interesting to observe and there was something inside of me that wanted to find more about his life.

Why I- Kept the secret from Daisy

                  Tom was cheating on Daisy. I was surprised, but I do not know why. Tom and Daisy's marriage had never been that strong, but I had felt hurt for Daisy. She was my cousin and I guess I was supposed to protect her. We were never that close, but Daisy was a nice girl. Tom had always been "better" than me. He was a star football player at Yale, he was rich, and people liked him, even though he is pretty arrogant. That night with Tom and Myrtle was unexpected. I never thought that Tom was a great guy, but I didn't think he would have an affair while married to Daisy, At first, I didn't know how to react. After a while, I decided I wouldn't tell anyone. When I was young, my father told me not to judge anyone because I was more privileged than most people. In this case, I wasn't necessarily more privileged, but I chose to stay out of it. I thought that if I acted like I didn't know, it wouldn't make a difference. Tom would be happy with his two women, and Daisy wouldn't know what was going on. If she did find out, it wasn't going to be from me. When I found out about Gatsby's love for Daisy, it made me feel better inside. I was hoping that Tom and Daisy would have a peaceful separation and they would both end up happy. Some part of me thought that Daisy only married Tom because he was wealthy, so this was her chance to have someone wealthy and who cared for her. In the end, I figured it would be too good to be true, but it wasn't me that was going to ruin the relationships. I chose to stick to my normal ways and be the observer once again.

 

What I was feeling- When no one came to Gatsby's funeral

     It had already been a sad day and I just had a bad feeling about everything. I had been telling people to come, after all, many people knew who Gatsby was. I even personally contacted Wolfshiem and Klipspringer. My little hope was crushed when Klipspringer called just to ask for his tennis shoes back. I just didn't understand. Why were people going to treat Gatsby so poorly? As much as I didn't want to admit it, I knew it was because Gatsby did not truly create many friendships. His parties were all for Daisy, and he had lost her too. What really made me upset was the fact that Daisy and Tom had fled so quickly. It was a heartless. I had so many different emotions building up in me. When I realized that the funeral attendance was only going to be Gatsby's father, Owl Eyes, a few servants, and I, I was ashamed. It was pathetic and somewhat depressing. I had had only known Gatsby for a short time and I attended. Why couldn't anyone else? Gatsby had been used, but I guess he put it on himself. His fake relationships with everyone left him alone. When the funeral was over, Mr. Gatz and I went back to the mansion. I had felt some joy when Mr. Gatz was going through all of his belongings. He had seemed proud of Gatsby. He talked about his writings and showed me a book of some of Gatsby's notes. He tried to be a better person, and it was evident through his organized calendar. It was a sad day and I had felt the pain from Gatsby's whole life through that one day at his funeral.